World: Nikko is Also to Blame for this Sex Tape Foolishness

Photo Cred: S2S Magazine

Photo Cred: S2S Magazine

A brief follow up to my words from yesterday. Previously, I posted about Mimi Faust of Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta and how her recent folly into porn is a huge disservice to her responsibilities as a mother. I must say, I am pleased by the response I received from my readers.

As I published that post, it hit me that I didn’t speak about Nikko, her boyfriend who appears with her in the sex tape. I focused all of my attention on her failures as a mother, without considering the obvious reality that her significant other plays in this recent controversy. The media at large is making the same mistakes I did.

Nikko is just as much to blame for Mimi’s irresponsibility as Mimi is herself. Nikko is just as guilty of favoring fame over parental considerations. As a man who is assuming some parental duties over Mimi’s young daughter, he is as much to blame for his lack of consideration.

Men are instrumental in the fight for gender equity. Men, the engineers of patriarchy, must be included in practices that promote female empowerment. All too often, feminists ignore men in the quest for gender equity; a grave mistake that will only make our fight more difficult than it needs to be. It’s important to understand men and their views about gender. It’s even more important to ensure that their views serve to the benefit of women and children, and by extension … humanity.

Which is where Nikko fits in.

Who knows what motivations Nikko has for agreeing to broadcast private sexual exploits with a mother. But, as a father figure, he needs to better understand how significant he is in female development. A billion studies will show that the most productive child hails from a supportive household with responsive authority figures. A strong family unit is basically the indicator of a child’s success. For non-lesbian families, this means that a positive father figure is necessary for childhood development.

I speak from personal experience. My father was (and still is) instrumental in my educational, social, political, and economic development. My father taught me life lessons about female dignity. My father encouraged me to always achieve my goals… to dream big … and to be treated with respect from my significant others. My father is my everything, and every day, I admire what an amazing father he is.

Men need to recognize how important they are to their children. All too often, we delegate child rearing as a woman’s responsibility. Society does not discuss how much men are needed in the home.

It’s shameful that Mimi’s daughter has no positive father figure to look up to. Her blood father, Stevie J, disrespects her mother on national television… while the new boyfriend is figuratively pimping her mother out.

I really do feel bad for the child. Men cut from the same cloth as Stevie J and Nikko need to better ascertain their roles as fathers. They need to better comprehend the depth of their parental responsibilities. And if they are not ready to assume such responsibilities, then they need to take necessary precautions to avoid such a situation in the first place.

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2 responses to “World: Nikko is Also to Blame for this Sex Tape Foolishness

  1. I said it before and I will say it again… “Feminism ruins Everything!” Honestly I don’t watch shows that disrespect and stereotype Black Women just to get a quick buck instead of doing an example of how they really are. Sadly, this is a tragic case. Tragic in the sense that just for a quick buck and 15 minutes of fame, this female and his so-called loser of hers, neglected their “responsibilities” to act like crazy people, the child is imitating what her mom is doing and sadly she’s going to the same path, with weave and all. The real father is nowhere to be found or care about his child.

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  2. I’ve worked with kids of different ages, religions, cultures, and their parents my whole life. I’ve worked for the wealthiest families and the poorest, in private schools and for public ones. I’ve worked with abused children suffering from post traumatic stress and so mislabeled as “retarded” and gifted children with every advantage. At a certain point kids will have to reconcile with their childhood disillusionment and if not forgive their parents for being human with obvious failings, move forward without them. No parent will stay their child’s hero without some embellishment, loyalty, or traditional adherence. Fortunately, no matter how wonderful or how horrible they were, we don’t have to be our parents. We don’t have to operate out of guilt or shame. We can adopt what worked, adapt what works, and decide to disregard the rest.
    I think what people want most is health and the sex tape feels unhealthy. Mind, body, and spirit health are important to discuss. And I agree with your protectiveness of children and personal dignity and parental responsibility.
    Contrary to popular belief, celebrities are not the best role models, and so children with celebrity parents are going to run the risk of being “Honey Boo Boos drinking go-go juice” to entertain the masses. I considered this form of reality television as collective child abuse regardless of how many networks picked up the story and laughed along, or slandered “white trash” families while exploiting them.
    This story about Mimi has been in many other blogs I’ve come across, where Mimi bashing formed a polarized lynch mob or a witch hunt and many felt truly justified in judging her. “She brought it on herself.” That’s linguistically indicative of a “rape culture” with willing witnesses. So I agree with your “no slut shaming” and I also think a certain gentle consideration for ourselves (hypocrisy, ignorance, low self esteem, fear, jealousy, etc.) will help us be less harsh on others.

    (*btw congrats on your new job!)

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