10 Things that NEED to Happen in 2014

Photo Cred: Tumblr

Photo Cred: Tumblr

1. New Beyonce

Ok world, I get it. She’s a superhuman goddess that can do any and everything. And it’s getting boring. After this On The Run Tour, what’s next? I’d love a new female superstar that can sing, dance, and entertainment, all while maintaining the delicate balance of sexy, class, and excitement.

2. A super album starring Black Hippy, Slaughterhouse, and Pro Era

The New School of Hip Hop reawakened that dormant cusp of my soul that was bored and irritated at the substandard level of today’s rap music. But this new era, spearheaded by Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole, is lively and innovative; cleverly blending lyricism with catchy production. If these three lyrical super groups were to join forces, I’m sure to morph into a puddle of happiness.

3. A dope ass female rapper

The game is missing a top notch female rapper. No, Nicki Minaj is not a rapper, get over it. I’m talking about a Lauryn Hill-Eve-Queen Latifah-MC Lyte-type rapper. You know, a female contender that can rival the men with bars, flow, and delivery. I need this. Angel Haze looks promising.

4. UGG Death

Photo Cred: thegloss.com

Photo Cred: thegloss.com

Ladies, kill your Uggs. Uggs are done. Why Uggs were so culturally relevant to begin with is beyond me … but, in 2014 Uggs shall be no more. Especially if your Uggs are leant with snow stains. Get rid of them. Move on. There’s so much more out there.

5. A progressive transgender politician

After President Obama, Democrats and progressives need to follow-up with another earth shattering qualified candidate. It looks like Hillary is going to take the torch … but, on the off chance she doesn’t, I think it’s time for a transgender candidate to enter the political fray.

6. Another Lupita Nyong’o

Black people, we can’t let Lupita be tokenized. Yes, she’s fantastic and amazing and awesome and glamorous and intelligent and talented and every other positive adjective that human language can possibly articulate. We’re all madly in love with her, but we need to demand that we get even more representation in pop culture. Mainstream America tends to promote the tacit rule that only Black woman can succeed at a time. Let’s not let this happen.

Lupita Nyong'o Miu Miu

7. Kendrick Lamar drops another classic album, wins a Grammy, and auctions it off to charity

What a great middle finger to the Grammy world it would be if K. Dot wins the Grammys that were stolen from him, donates them to charity, then gives the proceeds to the Black boys in Compton. Watch those Black boys fly after a showing like that.

8. Jay Electronica finally drops his album

We’ve been waiting for this album for a million years. It’s time.

9. Oprah, Magic Johnson, and Sean Combs buy The Clippers.

Oh, the irony. On so many levels.

10. Men who get beard transplants are banished from society.

And by far, the dumbest trend I ever heard of … men who THOUSANDS of dollars for facial hair. I thought the hipster mantra was to not *try* to be so effffffffin cool man.  ::::facepalmforever:::: If I ever meet anyone who willingly admits they got a beard transplant, I will graciously kick them in the head.

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5 responses to “10 Things that NEED to Happen in 2014

  1. 1. Where’s Amerie lol
    2. Nooooo, TDE is too west coast and too funky for Slaughterhouse and pro era, Pro Era has a certain NY vibe that neither group has….and slaughterhouse can spit their asses off but still haven’t found there group sound yet.
    3. Jean Grae, Snow the Product, Rhapsody is nice too
    6. I want to see a black woman kick some ass like Angela Bassett did in the movie Strange Days…not be hyped up because she played the help or the slave….no dis to Lupita.
    7-8. yes and yesssss!!!!
    9. They need to buy a cheaper team like the Hawks, let the clipper value drop first….I’d hate to see black folks give that fool a billion for the d@mn Clippers.
    10. Is that worse than the calf muscle implant?

    Like

  2. Werd, Beyonce with her phony progressive feminist hero schtick is so played out. All that girl has ever had is help from men, lmao give me a break. Love the music, hate the image. Not because of what it represents, but it’s just NOT her.

    Like

  3. Ha! Love it. Except I need my uggs for warmth. I hated then too…until I visited Chicago in January..Uggs basically saved me from frostbite and amputations. And I love Lupita. I’d like to add that India needs a version of her.

    Like

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