I have a great issue with the statement “You attract what you are”. Do not get me wrong- I am a supporter of all beliefs, including those rooted in the metaphysical tradition.
Nevertheless, this also helps to continue the justification of violence against womyn. I am a womyn who is reaching the peak of her twenties, finishing college, working two summer jobs and about to begin the path to my career in holistic medicine. Even if I was not working, not in school, and not with many options concerning employment, I still do not warrant the abuse I have endured since the age of 18.
You see, I too am one of the five womyn by the age of 18 to experience dating violence. I had been stalked online and in person, date raped, emotionally abused, mentally abused and of course, verbally abused. This is a growing issue that is still prominent even though there are more outlets and individuals speaking out.
This is why we must continue to talk about it on social media. People will discourage you by saying that you are being monitored by the government, but so what? When you continue the cycle of fear, you do not allow love, and more so the TRUTH, to regain prominence in the public sphere. Patriarchy allows men to not be honest with themselves, especially if they (as with the most recent situation) have untreated conditions, like mental illness. Those who perpetuate dating violence are sociopaths who need you to commit to their self harm. They need you to validate their selfish behavior and thoughts and will even cause you to lose your own self in the process.
I advise womyn in such predicaments to go to trusted friends, family, mentors and/or guardians. In a nation becoming more phobic about contaminants and deviant behavior, not enough is being done for an issue that is a “prevalent public health concern”. Look for local womyn support groups and spend time doing the things you love. I myself will go back to writing, listening to smooth jazz, doing my nails, and drinking tea.
Healing is a process and even though abuse may hinder it, know that you are not alone and that many other womyn and allies are willing to help. Just do not stop talking about it until the end of gendered violence and the liberation of womyn is complete.
Emily December is a 23 year old college student who is pursuing a career in holistic medicine. She is a Taurus with a divine supply of endurance and touch of Aries fire who likes to drink tea and find the good in life. She is also planning on continuing her grassroots activism within Queens through outlets like writing and can be contacted via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.