New Professions for Meek Mill Now That His Rap Career is (Probably) Done

Unless you’re allergic to the New School of Hip Hop, you know of the electrifying rap feud between Drake and Meek Mill. But if you’re stuck in your not-today chilluns …here’s a recap.

In what I imagine was an intoxicated rant fest with hoards of yes-men, Meek Mill went on Twitter and said Drake didn’t write his own bars. Ah shit.

Audio soon surfaced of alleged ghostwriter Quentin Miller rapping lines from one of Drake’s many smash hits “10 Bands” on a reference track. All eyes were on DrakeBeard. He dropped “Charged Up,” an okay response that we soon learned was actually a stage-setter for one of the greatest diss tracks of our generation.

Laden with piercing (and slightly misogynoristic, but corporate hip hop …) punchlines, Drake CA-LEARLY took the win. Drake evinced the strategic, clever, straightforwardness of a young Hov; from the single’s symbolic artwork to sending 6 bottles of Dom PĂ©rignon to archnemsis Charlamagne tha God (leaving the self-styled Architect of Aggravation uncharacteristically speechless), Drake triumphed in a way I thought unimaginable.

Meek Mill lay dormant for all the time, his Twitter Fingers on hiatus as he tried to live up to the intense, frenzied pressure he placed upon himself. He probably thought Drake — who’s constantly clowned for his effeminate sentimentalities (cuz gender norms are awesome) —  wouldn’t go in. He though terribly, painfully, tragically wrong.

He needed to respond, and he did so charily. His unintelligible … nehmind, just listen. And cry. And question your command of the English language.

Let down is the understatement of the millennia. Drake wasted no time by publicly Meek-mocking at a his concert in Toronto last night. On his Law 15 type shit.

What hurts is that I was rooting for Meek. I always go for the hip hop underdog. Drake was positioned to win. More money, hits, and name recognition made for an easy and expected victory.

And just imagine what a moment in New School Hip Hop it would’ve been if Meek Mill overcame all, and ethered Drake’s life away.

Ah well.

Meek’s career might be over. New School Hip hop fans are a fickle, un-loyal crowd. So here’s some possible career paths Meek can undertake.

Donald Trump’s Social Media Manager

Put those glib, petulant, egotistic, incoherent Twitter Fingers to good use. This basically describes Trump’s Twitter career.

UFO Liaison

Meek Mill does not speak earthly languages. Perhaps he can be an ambassador sorts to extraterrestrial life that will soon invade Earth.

Cryptologist

The profession of producing and transmitting secure communication that adversaries cannot decipher. Meek would be perfect.

Hip Hop Studies Professor

Speaking from experience, he’ll teach the youngins why it’s important to stay in your rap lane.

Screen Shot 2015-08-04 at 2.05.01 AM

Meek Mill’s face when the semester starts.

All around, I reeeeaaaalllllllyyyyyyyy enjoyed watching this scuffle unfold. Here’s my final thoughts:

  • Drake needs to stop while he’s ahead. It’s moving towards pettiness. Like that kid in class who told a funny joke once, and then won’t let it go when the joke is no longer funny. Plus, we saw how constantly throwing punches ended 50’s career. Don’t wanna see that happen to DrakeBeard.
  • No, I don’t think Meek’s rap career is dead. He just needs to chill for awhile.
  • To those saying “this-ain’t-real-beef … real-beef-was [insert Nas v. Jay Z, Beanie Siegel v. Jadakiss, and/or Biggie v. Tupac.” GOOD. We’re surrounded by enough Black death. I much prefer this version of a rap feud. It’s more fun, safe, and culturally enriching.

 

photo 1Arielle Newton, Founder/Editor-in-Chief. Get at me @arielle_newton. Get at us @BlkMillennials

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4 responses to “New Professions for Meek Mill Now That His Rap Career is (Probably) Done

  1. Honey this had to be the best recap yet. You had me dying with the list of career options for Meek lol – cryptologist though?! Hilarious. I wasn’t even following this until I couldn’t avoid it on my FB news feed. When I finally caught up, I saw the OVO concert diss and just buried my head FOR Meek. I’m not a hip hop fun but I know that his career is in clear suspension. lol

    Like

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